" I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. "



"I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed. "

disconnect

"i am sorry the number you have dialed has been disconnected or is temporally out of service. if you feel have reached this message in error please hang up and dial again...."

driving home from work last night i was behind a mini van and inside they were watching 'king fu panda' on their little dvd player

that bothered me

not kung fu panda - cute movie- it bothered me that there were probably children in that vehicle- being entertained by an electronic device

i am a mom- i have 4 kids- all grown up now and there were car trips when i wished there was something to keep them quiet and entertained -usually on long car trips

but then i thought about all the short trips around town with them and snippets of long ago conversations floated through my head

"mom- you need to turn here"
why?
"because the sun is in my nose and i don't like it"

"are we lost?"
no

"good, i am not sure i really want to go on an adventure right now"

"hey mom?'

yes?

"can i talk to you about something...."

hey parent in the van? maybe if you disconnect now you won't be disconnected from your children later- just saying'

car time is priceless

directionally challenged

why is that some people have this natural sense of where things are?
like some sort of internal GPS and no matter where they are the never seem to get lost?
not me
i am directionally challenged- this is not a comment on my stature- being only 5ft tall i think i have heard EVERY short joke. ever.

nope this is more like I get lost

easily

pretty weird for someone who always scored phenomenally well on the maps portion of the Iowa Tests of Basic Skills- OK so maybe not so weird when you consider i was not trying to read the map and drive at the same time.
i will be headed to Omaha this weekend to spend some time with Biz and it is causing some anxiety because i am not real familiar with the Omaha area and after awhile all cities start to look alike and what you thought was a landmark was really something you saw in another city

it all makes me crazy

so, if i don't post again it's because i got lost going into Omaha and ended up in the wilds of South Dakota and got attacked by a wild flesh eating Jackalope. (those critters are dangerous)

there's a hole in the bottom of my cup

it's too tiny to see but every time i take a drink there are a couple of drops of iced tea on my desk
i keep wiping them away

but they keep coming back

sort of like depression

you can't see it

but it's there and i keep trying to wipe it away

but it keeps coming back
little drops of me getting wiped away
until what?
until there's nothing left?
i poured my iced tea into a different cup
problem solved

why isn't there isn't an easy fix for what's inside of me?

crayons

 a new school year with a NEW box of crayons
there is something about the feel and smell of crayons that immediately takes me to my happy place

i saw a piece on Pineterest and had to re-pin it to my board - it was one of those AH-HA moments

a while back i wrote about a doodle  i had done
this doodle came about because of my daughter Kelsey - she is on the autistic spectrum and doesn't get the world the same way many other people do
we had many moments filled with all sorts of emotions and usually all in very loud voices
some of my art students got to experience Kelsey in all her "glory" after she stormed out of the studio one very sensitive and astute young man said very softly-

crayons melt- people shouldn't

i wanted to hug him because i knew exactly what he was thinking

 so when i saw the melted crayons on Pinterest i knew they belonged together like peanut butter and jelly

this is going on the studio wall

for Kelsey - because some days for her are like melted crayons - and even though she's melted down on me i can still see her beauty

DREAM BIG!

Why not? I mean what do you have to lose beside a little bit of time?
So that's what I did. I am competing with small businesses across America for a $50,000 grant from Intuit

You can help me win by voting for me. That red heart on my blog will help you do that.

What would I do with $50,000? oh my......

I would give my art room a total makeover. Currently I am teaching 90 private students in the studio. I love my art room but it could use some professional organizing instead of the hand-me-down make it work storage system I have now.

 The drop ceiling would disappear and it would be painted white with a loft and a skylight that would OPEN for fresh air.





And then there would be organized storage all on one wall in one place! Everything would be labeled so each one of my students could find what they need!


I would have this professionally designed and done by my very dear NEW architect friend Kristen Greteman.

Dreams can come true can't they?
If you vote for me you can help it happen.

Spread the word.

Thank you.

what is happening to us?

a group of well intentioned intelligent people in my community tried to get a bond issue passed to relocate our library- which is very small- to a new site. i became part of this group because i liked the fact that they were going to take a 'brownfield site"  and reclaim it for the library. this would clean up an area of our city that needs it plus it would keep our library located close to the center of town. this did not happen over night. a committee was formed over 5 years ago to look into a larger library. lots of time, effort and volunteer hours were spent on the project with two years spent on planning for the final chosen site. everything was OK until one man - just one- decided he didn't like this idea at all and he started a one man campaign against the project. he took out quarter page ads in the local newspaper. and when he was asked to have a sit down discussion and debate his views with the people who had been working on this project he refused. yet he continued to bully the community with propaganda and fear. did i mention that money was no object in his campaign- he personally funded his bully campaign.

 those of us who wanted to see this new library happen were able to generate over 1Million dollars in pledges and grants towards the project.

the bond issue was resoundingly defeated. the next day this bully had the audacity to call the president of the library board of trustees to ask if she wanted to work with him on his plan for the library- and it was OK to say no- she said no.

he then took about another quarter page ad in the newspaper and basically said we were poor sports about the vote so we  "took our ball and went home".

now, i don't know about you but when i was a kid i avoided  bullies. they didn't play fair and someone- usually me or my friends- got hurt. so we would pack up our things and leave. it wasn't easy to confront a bully.  and it still isn't.

i keep shaking my head and asking myself what is going on?


 i really would like to know.

why do we put up with this kind of behavior?

be·nign–adjective

1. having a kindly disposition; gracious: a benign king.
2. showing or expressive of gentleness or kindness: a benign smile.
3. favorable; propitious: a series of benign omens and configurations in the heavens.


twice in my life i have had the word cancer directed at me. the first was about 6 years ago in the form of a lump in my left breast. in the two weeks it took from discovery to biopsy results i experienced a gamut of emotions from worse case to everything is fine....to how could anyone ever accept me as whole if my breast was missing...

the relief was overwhelming when the results came back benign. the gods were indeed smiling on me.

four weeks ago i heard that word again mentioned in reference to me and my body. this one was even more frightening because i really didn't know much about uterine cancer. i was scared and angry. why does cancer want to invade my reproductive organs? i realize i am no longer using them for their intended purposes because i made the decision 16 years ago that 4 kids were enough. even so- i am rather attached to all my organs and i am pretty sure they are all in careful balance with each other.  in other words i might not be using them but my body NEEDS them.

i have several friends who have had hysterectomies and they have said:

"best thing I ever did"
" I don't know why I waited so long"
" if I had it to do over I would have done it sooner"

and i'm thinking- wait a minute- i know i complain a lot about being a girl and dealing with cramps and periods and pms all that wonderful girl stuff

but  - maybe i am odd in my thinking - but i nurtured four new human beings in my uterus. whatever i ate or was exposed to directly affected what was going on in my uterus. i took this job seriously in order to give them the best chance i could to develop into healthy babies. i continued that very important job by nourishing them through breastfeeding until i felt they were ready for other foods....

don't get me wrong- i am not a granola eating, forever breastfeeding all natural earth mother.
i am just a woman. and a huge part of being a woman - for me- has to do with  the reproductive organs- all of them.

so when my surgeon - with his charming smile and pretty blue eyes says so sweetly to me that we'll just remove your uterus and ovaries laparoscopically and you'll be a little uncomfortable for a few days but recovery will be quick and easy unless your results come back positive in which case you have major surgery and we remove everything  and recovery is longer....but still you'll be back to normal....blah,blah,blah....

normal?
i'll be damaged goods.
a broken object with parts of me missing.

it's not like i am perfect to begin with. my body is a road map of my life so far-scars from my appendectomy, c-section, and breast biopsy. i'm a few pounds over weight and i have stretch marks from pregnancies and breastfeeding...all a part of who i am.

and he wants to just remove them like they are nothing.

results: benign

once again the gods have smiled on me.



When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.

They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

please return as soon as possible

too young

it's father's day again. it seems like it was just father's day but then i am getting old enough where the years seem to merge into each other. i haven't celebrated father's day since 1989. you see my dad died at age 56 in January of 1990. i was only 29 years old. too young. he died too young and i was too young to lose my dad.

my dad was 'kookie' (yes it's a real word)

Adj.

1.

kookie - informal or slang terms for mentally irregular

yep- that was my dad. crooked glasses, goofy grin and all.

he fathered 10 kids- 3 sons and 7 daughters. i am in the middle of the daughters. dad worked hard and put in a lot of hours to make sure there was food on the table and a roof over our heads. i remember the first time dad took all of us girls fishing at the lagoon. last thing mom said to us was "KEEP YOUR SHOES ON!"
 the shoes came off as soon as we got to the waters edge - we were like a herd of cats going off in 6 different directions. Melanie, Cecelia and i were more interested in the tadpoles and catching a frog than fishing, Susan, Jackie and Rosemarie actually put their bamboo poles in the water to fish. at about the same time two shouts went out- Melanie cut her foot and Rosemarie caught a fish.

 fishing trip over....

and then there was the time Melanie and i went golfing with dad- i am not much of a golfer- all i remember about that outing was dad telling me to keep my head down with some exasperation as i hit the 5th ball into the pond....

...and there were the family picnics and the long card rides to see grandma and grandpa after we moved away from Des Moines and trips to see our brother Timmy and moving me to college and the next thing i know he's walking me down the aisle and then he's holding my first born- a daughter and then he was gone....miss you dad. a lot.

coloring outside the lines? YES!

so, officially it's only the second day of summer. the weekend doesn't count. already i have a To-Do list that is pretty long. sometimes i think i should make a "To Don't" list because it would be easier and faster to check the items off.

coloring outside the lines is what i do. it's why i am here in this place at this time. i think we all need a little more outside the lines time in our lives.

can't sleep

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. ~William Dement


a friend sent me this quote. it's a good one and tonight because i once again find myself unable to sleep this quote hits home. i like sleeping. let me fine tune that- i like dreaming. some people can't remember their dreams. i do. and tonight i can't turn off my brain and i really want to sleep- perchance to dream....

when i was younger i used to tell myself stories after the lights went out so i could fall asleep. when you share a room with a sibling keeping a light on and reading all night is not an option.

have you ever had a dream that was so real that when you woke up you were not sure what was real and was the dream? those are the best ones. or the dreams where you are flying? soaring above the ground like a kite- diving and swooping? my favorite dream is the garden. i don't remember much about it but the garden is a comforting and safe place. and when i wake up from that dream i feel a sense of loss and i want to go back there.

all you need is LOVE?

love is patient
love is kind
love does not
 
                 boast
                                     envy
                                                  and is not proud
love is not rude
nor is it self seeking
 
love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs
 
love does not delight in evil but
                                        REJOICES with the truth
 
love always
protects
trusts
hopes

and perseveres             

laughing at the sky

perfectly imperfect -that's an oxymoron- you know two words put together that don't quite fit.

perfect  (per·fect)
–adjective
1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.

imperfect (im-per-fect)
-adjective
1. of pertaining to, or characterized by defects of weakness: imperfect vision

so i guess this means that one is being the absolute best at being human (?)

we have all heard "in a perfect world...."
there are perfect numbers
 Bo Derek was considered the perfect 10
you have the perfect couple and the perfect game and the perfect lawyer and the perfect crime and the perfect book and the perfect plan
and you can imagine how all that looks-

but to be imperfect means there is a flaw, a weakness - something less than desirable- it's that flaw that makes us human, makes us ask questions. why? to understand and influence our environment, to explain and manipulate phenomena through science, philosophy, mythology and religion-to make us better or in other words- perfect

in all that seeking and asking and wanting to know we forget to live in the moment and we miss so much

  

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky” Buddha

let's make a pact right now

ok. about what?

on the first really truly nice day in May let's all not show up for work and play outside all day.

we'll call it a mental health day.

it sounds like maybe we should have more of them.

i agree. maybe we can start something!

the dark side...headed into the light

everyone has a dark side. i have been visiting mine lately. the ups and down of the weather has had me up and down. even my UV sessions haven't been much help. i'm still sleepy and dragging through my days. but i do know it's going to get better. the sun will shine and the days will get warmer and i'll spend a lot of time outside.

that's my spring resolution- to spend more time outside. walking, pulling weeds,reading and my favorite- sitting on the front steps. sometimes i sit on my front steps and i can see the neighborhood i grew up in- kids up and down the streets. playing baseball in the field across the street and steal the flag in the yard next door. foursquare in my driveway and basketball in theirs. cutting through my backyard to the neighbors behind me so I wouldn't have to walk all the way around the hill to get to my friend's house at the bottom of the hill...

i need to spend more time walking along the creek in the park...that's full of memories too....where did the time go?

A Contest! spread the word!



Princess Norah



I have a contest happening on my other blog artworks-and-beads until May 1st!

Please click on the link and participate. It's for a good cause!



bracelets



be the change you wish to see

about a week ago i wrote about change and how it happens and how hard it is. i was referring to internal change- a behavior or an attitude or outlook.

today it's about change again.



Susan is in the stripes on the right and
 I am in the back on the left without glasses

 my life is about to change as i know it. May 1st my oldest sister-Susan- is moving into my household.
she brings with her a suitcase full of medications
a cane
a walker
an oxygen machine
and her little dog Chloe

Susan is only 54 but has a lot of health problems- mental and physical health problems and she can't live alone anymore. we had a trial run this past week. you see she wanted to get her affairs in order while she was feeling pretty good. so she stopped at my brother's office and got him working on her will and power of medical attorney. then she picked out the funeral home she wanted and made an appointment to discuss her funeral arrangements and get things paid for....

and so many people tell me what a saint i am for doing this what a good person and how kind and....
and i am not- i am her sister and she has no place else to go.  we're family. mom used to say whenever we had to do something we really didn't want to do or made us uncomfortable that someday we'd get our reward in heaven....
i'm not looking for a reward in heaven. i'm not looking for sainthood. i'm just doing what's right. no one should have to die alone.
i was born and raised a catholic. i don't go to church anymore and practice catholicism anymore. but i do have faith. strong faith in something bigger and better than me.


this situation with my sister made me think about current events in the world
 
disasters strike, people loose their homes, their loved ones even their own lives. kids are left orphaned and people are left hopeless, helpless and depressed.
this is just my own personal opinion but i feel that many people find it easier to help a perfect stranger than someone in their own family. how many times have you said let me know if i can do anything while secretly hoping that person never will.
text a $10 donation to the red cross and never have to interact with another human.
if the sermon  moves you enough throw a couple of bucks into the extra collection for the poor....and so on and so forth
when it comes right down to it how many people are actually willing to DO something?

i texted my $10 dollar donation to the red cross for Japan.
i threw a couple of dollars into the collection plate and left.
i can't take the next flight to Hati and help rebuild and i can't do anything more for Japan but i can do somehting right here in my own house. taking my sister in won't put an end to hunger nor will it be the impetus for world peace. what it will do is make a difference in the life of one woman- my sister- and in doing that maybe it will make a difference in the lives of her two daughters and maybe in turn it will make a difference in the lives of their four sons....and so on and so forth...and maybe i can be the change i wish to see in the world...

change

change is a scary word.

there are 38 different ways to use the word. verb, noun, idiom...the definition that i am referring to is this one: to become different:... to become altered or modified... to become transformed

when someone close to you changes it can be difficult to accept. it can make you question their motives and maybe even re-examine your life. when you try to change a facet of your personalty or a behavior it's a big risk. some people in your life refuse to accept the idea that you are changing. they can be very detrimental to your progress and may even sabotage your efforts.

change is not easy. but it's necessary. think about it- if nothing ever changed- life would be stagnant.

random thoughts

lately there have been all these random thoughts and snippets of ideas floating in my head
i don't know where they come from but i do know that i have to write them down somewhere or they will take over and i'll get bogged down in them so here they are- no rhyme no reason no order-just random thoughts


there's a hole in my heart
i don't know how it got there or when
and i don't know how to fix it
i keep looking for the perfect patch
but stuff keeps leaking out no matter what i do

they told me to forget about him

turn and walk away

that boy -they said- is not good enough

for you

tell that to my heart

convince my soul that we don't belong together

and why should i listen to "them" anyway?

who are you to decide what is best for me?

who's idea was it to be the bravest?

i know it wasn't me

because i know i am NOT brave

it's all a mask

it's all pretend

it's what i do to get me through my day

yet everyone looks to me and says

you- go do it- you're the bravest

i am not!

i am terrified

i don't like these two words

they are so cold

so final

so...i don't know

....and they all lived Happily Ever After

how can they live Happily Ever After when it's followed by

THE END

there isn't anymore

invisiblity

Elizabeth Wurtzel
From Book Prozac Nation

Artsonia "Artist of the Week"

Carly602

I participate in Artsonia- the world's largest online art museum of children's artwork. I teach over 60 kids in the studio from Pre-K through high school. This week two of my students have been nominated for "Artist of the Week" Please take a moment and go vote for them. Thanks!

Tori611

pay it forward

I am participating in a great blog event called "Pay it Forward 2011". I heard about it from Cat at Tattered Rebel and I just knew I needed to be a part of it. Here is the deal:

The first 5 people who comment on this post will receive a gift handmade by me, Laura of outside-the-lines. In return, you must write a blog post explaining Pay It Forward 2011 and send your first 5 commenters a gift handmade by you. It's a great way to make new friends and spread some handmade love around Blogland. With all of the talent that abounds around here, it should be a very fun time. No rush to send them out today or even tomorrow, but do make sure you send them out.

"It's not the size of the item that matters, but the spirit of paying it forward."

"I believe in Karma. If the good is sown, the good is collected. When positive things are made, that returns well."
Yannick Noah

so let me get this straight....

Kelsey Grammer can end a 15 year marriage by phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE, 53% of Americans get divorced and 30-60% cheat on their spouses.

Yet, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage?

Really?

don't let a blank page scare you

“Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas....

 

yesterday i was the guest speaker at the high school creatinve writing class

i find them to be intimidating and vulnerable at the same time. and so full of dreams ...
one of the topics i brought up was keeping some sort of place where you can record thoughts, ideas, derams and stuff on you at all times. yeah- i am talking about a journal
i have been keeping journals since i was in 5th grade. back then it was little gold diary with a lock and key. no idea what happened to that one but i am sure if i found it today it would make me laugh...or maybe cry- how many dreams did i have then that never came true?

i don't "journal" in the same sense that most people do- i consider what i do more like idea/sketch/journal books...my books are filled with pictures from magazines or catalogues , quotes by persons of interest to me, doodles, sketches, ideas, websites...just all sorts of information i may find useful. some of my journals are all about places i have been. some are just filled with quotes and some still empty waiting for the right time to begin marking on the pages.

 i always carry one or two in my purse-

these are my current ones

-i never know where inspiration will come from. sometimes it hits when i am trying to let go of my day and fall asleep - then i have to get up and quick write it down so i will remember in the morning

none of my journal pages are works of art in and of themselves but many of them have been a spring board for other pieces. then there is this super cool special one of a kind journal  by Miss Morgan Hiscocks made just for me that i keep letters written to me from my daughters who are away at school and other writings of mine and such. and yes i do carry this one around too when i am carrying a bigger bag and i know i will be someplace where i can be alone with my thoughts for awhile and dream....

Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.”

we are NOT amused

i am having one of those weeks where i have begun to wonder which of the gods i pissed off and why...
if it can go wrong it has

eyeglasses
exam went great- the Dr and I were finally on the same page on what my vision needs are for the type of work i do and the kind of vision i have- we compromised on two pairs of glasses one pair just for the studio and the other pair for the rest of the time-
the non- studio glasses were finished first- picked them up and things look a little wonky but i figured it was due to stronger distance lenses( my distance vision is getting worse but my close up keeps improving)
by the end of the day i was back to wearing my old glasses because the new ones were not quite right- but decided to give them a chance because i WAS wearing them in the studio....

the studio glasses are in- they are AWESOME! i can SEE! i wear them out of the store and run into a friend and we talk for about 20 minutes outside...then i notice something is not quite right
-yeah
the left lens is dark and the right lens is crystal clear- it was like wearing weak 3-d glasses in the sun-
by the time i got back to the vision center they were gone for lunch....sigh.....
next day i take them back and they are apologetic and my glasses will be back and correct next week- i am still undecided on the first pair because i can not wear them in the studio- i have to take them off to do any close up work- computer-jewelry making- CUTTING WITH SCISSORS!
it's annoying
I REFUSE TO WEAR A CHAIN
and i am always taking them off and then forgetting where i put them

then there's the cell phone debacle
i am due for an upgrade - there are 5 lines on my plan- 4 of the 5 phones only work part of the time
2 of the 5 phone users are not known for their patience
3 of the 5 phone users live 100 - 800 miles away
i figured let's have an online discussion of phones available and what individual needs are and i-being the primary account holder- will order them all online- simple yes?
in theory too simple- the ordering process went smoothly and the phones arrived the next day as promised
joshua was able to run right down to the Verizon Store in town and get all his information moved to the new phone- for a $10 fee
i did not have time to do that so i figured i would use back up assistant online -which worked like a dream- until it came time to move the data to my NEW phone- sorry- they don't want to play nice- ok I can wait until thursday night and get my phone taken care of at the Verizon Store
meanwhile....i get carolyne's phone boxed up and ready to ship to Cincinnati - better insure it and get it registered receipt requested to be safe- being cautious cost me 45 minutes at the counter at the post office because the postage machine printer kept malfunctioning on the counter clerk- and of course when i walked into the post office there was no one waiting and as soon as my package got into the system 4 people walked in and here i am tying up the window as 6 more people walk in and the line is out the door....and i keep aplogizing for the delay which isn't my fault it's the stupid machine

geesh- ok package is now out of my hands

last night i go to the Verizon Store and they make me wait for 35 minutes i don't mind waiting- i really don't -what i DO mind is this: he hands me back my phone and says oh- we can't perform this service for you because THIS store doesn't sell THIS phone- it's at this moment i notice the HUGE sign hanging on the wall behind him extolling the virtues of online back up assistance...

you're kidding right? no

phone number 4 is on its way to daughter number 3 in Omaha via KayTay who is on her way to visit and phone number 5 is waiting for Kelsey to get home tonight for Spring Break.

my phone is sitting here on my desk mocking me as i MANUALLY put EVERYTHING into it

the frosting on this particular cake happened this morning when i discovered my period had started after a two month absence - being a woman of a certain age where this kind of thing happens and MY BRAND of tampons had been DISCONTINUED!

they couldn't wait until i was finished with menopause?
of course not
patience over

window to the future

the first two weeks of February i participated in a blogging event called "One World One Heart". this was an amazing gathering of creative people from all over the world. i visited each and every blog- all 800+ of them. part of the event was to have thank you gifts for the people who stopped by your blog and left a comment. for me it wasn't about the possibility of winning a prize it was about seeing all the diverse talent "out there"

The World Wide Web is aptly named.

today in my mailbox was this piece:
isn't it wonderful? It measures 4 x 6" and is absolutely delightful. this was made by Helen Campbell of Washington. i am now following her blog "Nature's Walk Studio". the title of the piece is "Window to the Future" i am already planning on framing it. it uses the techniques of image transfer, collage and wax. LOVE IT!

i took a class this summer and dabbled in using wax on ATC's. we dipped our pieces in wax and Iilike the look and feel of it. in this case the fine coating of wax looks like it was maybe brushed on and it gives this piece an aged patina that is so cool.
this past weekend i hosted my first ever Art Retreat in the studio and one of the techniques i got a really good feel for was image transfer. (finally! Thanks Cecelia!) this piece by helen makes me want to get busy and do some more experimenting with wax!

it's a love/hate relationship

that describes my relationship with technology in general and my cell phone in particular
i like having the accessibility but hate the technology
i have a 5 person family plan- one phone for me and then one each for the kids and my phone as the primary account is eligible for an upgrade
this is where the love/hate comes in
I LOVE the idea of getting a NEW phone
I HATE the idea of getting a new phone

too many choices and features and bells and whistles and such when my BIGGEST question is WHY does reception suck in the art room in the studio? and why can't they fix that? my daughter in Cincinnati has to stand by her window in the living room to talk to me when she is at home in her apartment...my daughter in Sioux City has so many dead spots that her calls get dropped to me all the time...the one in Omaha is 90% text and has few issues and my son- well I would say he's pretty hard on a phone- OK that's putting it politely

so here i am in cell phone hell
why does it say my phone is eligible for free upgrade but not theirs?
where can i figure out this out?
does this mean i can only upgrade my phone? i do not want to go through this painful process more than once every two years

what will the bottom line be? is free really free or are there hidden charges?

GAH!

they want you to use the stupid website but then make it so confusing it's ridiculous! and i consider myself to be fairly intelligent

and as long as I am on the subject- why can't "they" design a printer for my computer that thinks like an artist?
sometimes I only need to print a 4 x 6 - and yes I change my printer settings for photo paper- but my printer can tell when it's not photo paper and is something else

i told you- love/ hate all the way

learning

i think learning is a lifelong endeavor. you should never stop learning. there is so much to see and do and well, just learn!

i have spent the weekend with my sister and a friend of mine. we have been creating art all weekend. each one of us has perfected a process or technique. we love what we do and enjoy teaching others. so the first two days have been spent sharing. tomorrow we will take what we have learned and actually do something with it.



image transfer on painted background
with stamped images

 i was so proud of my first ever image transfer. and C enjoyed printing on her gelatin plate. i LOVE the iron on image transfer paper for fabric and paper. AWESOME!!! and Shari was challenged with her elevated shrine box project. i am still not sure if this piece is finished. every time i look at it i think ...wow! I did that....

you know it's good to learn and share and teach. we have had good food, good company, good music and good times.

so, never stop learning. never stop sharing your knowledge with others and most of all keep having fun while you do it!

oh happy day!

i have to admit that there is NOTHING like a sunny warm day in February.

i live in Iowa- where winter seems to LAST FOREVER! and winter isn't so bad except for

• the lack of sunshine
• below freezing temperatures
• wind chill

so today it is 60+ degrees and the sun is shining and the studio door is open and i sat out front on a step stool and ate goldfish crackers and soaked it all in!

in which we come to the last chapter where we have to say goodbye...

the "One World One Heart" blog event is now officially over. i am very glad i opted to participate. last night i printed off 25 pages of comments from people who stopped by this blog and took some time to get to know me...cut them into strips and then chose two....

so the randomly picked winners are Marilyn Studio 274 - she has won the wall piece
and Deirdra Doan has won the copy of my book

One World One Heart 2011

welcome!

i am laura comito, 2nd generation Italian American living in the wilds of western Iowa, USA. i've been an artist all my life and enjoy mixed media collage- i like to alter stuff. i'd rather go junking than shopping for clothes. i also design and create my own jewelry which feeds into my passion for vintage jewelry and i can't help but incorporate rhinestones into most of my work. i love to travel and actually made it to the village where my grandparents were born in Italy!  oh yeah- i also live with depression everyday.

thanks for stopping by and taking a peek around. leave a comment too! as a token of my appreciation i am giving away two items hand made by me to two lucky people.



page 1

 item number one is a copy of the book I published called "Outside the Lines"
my story of living and coping with depression through art and meds. all of the artwork is a series of collages from art papers, ephemera, bits and pieces of found objects stickers, rubber stamps and doodles.




item number 2 is a wall collage made from hand made papers, art papers, fibers, ribbon flowers and sculpy clay.

it's been nice getting to know you!
laura

i also write a second blog so please stop by and look around there too! Just click on the link and it will magically take you to my other place!               artworks and beads

~JUST ADDED~

if you are a cardmaker i was just gifted with an entire box of envelopes of many different sizes and colors. i would be more than happy to send you an assortment of 24 envelopes. in your message make sure you put ENVELOPES in caps- so i SEE it :) and i will contact you for your snail mail address. these are free- paying it forward....

the beauty of a woman

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years. ~"


— Audrey Hepburn

the blessings list

back in september i wrote about the bucket list - you know that list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. i am 49 years old- it has been bothering me that i will be 50 in 6 months...
FIFTY-(that's a scary number)
so i thought of all the things i want to accomplish and that got me to thinking how i got to where and who i am

right now
today

so i have come up with a blessing list- i have been blessed with so much in my life that when i focus on the hamster wheel of everyday living i forget...so here's my list

• a strong supportive yet at times annoying family and parents who gave me roots and wings
• lifelong friends - you know the ones you can call at 4 am and they will talk to you
• carolyne, kelsey, elizabeth and joshua
• cookies- the person who made the first cookie should be honored with their own national holiday
• the two men who have loved me enough to marry me and put up with me- both are uniquely special 
• the one who got away

so what have i done for 50 years?
dropped out of college,ran my own business,got married,had 4 kids,got divorced,published a book,got married again....

ok...but-



but....i have walked down Drury Lane looking for the Muffin Man

stood in Westminster Abbey~the sacred space of kings, queens, statesmen, poets, priests, hero's and villains

left a tuppence on the steps of St Paul's for the birds

walked up Edinburgh Rock and looked out over the Pentland Hills



on the terrace at teresina's house



walking down the street in Belsito, Italy



i ate tarallis as I walked the streets of Belsito, Italy- the birthplace of my family - and shared an afternoon meal with my cousin Teresina Porco and her family

i have stood among hundreds of butterflies and felt them landing like a wish upon my person....been moved to tears by the beauty of carolyne's voice as she sang...laughed in a sudden summer rain shower and celebrated it...used up all the pink sidewalk chalk with my granddaughter...experienced sunsets, moon rises, ocean views, and lazy lake days.... it's all good.



???

One World One Heart

as i wander through the blogisphere i have met some amazing people. this world wide web does indeed make each one of us global. sometimes that is easy to forget. one person can make a difference. five years ago Lisa Swifka started world wide events for bloggers only. she was looking for a way for us to connect. i know in my journey i have often wondered if anyone "out there" is listening.  this is what Lisa has to say about the event:

"It gives all those who blog a chance to meet and mingle and form connections with those they may not have otherwise met from all over the world. In the past 4 years this event has grown to over 1,000 participants with lasting friendships (and even one love connection) formed along the way.  Think of it as a GIGANTIC open house allowing you to travel without ever leaving your home........going from blog to blog(in various countries) seeing the wonder each one has created and meeting all the fabulous people behind those blogs. "

now how cool is that? as a bonus for participating each blogger will offer up a door prize to a random person who stopped by your blog said hello and took a peek inside your world.

the One World One Heart event begins januuary 30th and ends february 17th with the announcement of prize winners from each blog.

care less?

this was the facebook status of a page i follow.
yesterday's status was "give a damn"

both statements seem to be poles apart. give a damn. that means you should care right? and care less means you shouldn't spend so much time caring....

or does it?

give a damn.  yep, I googled it. and i am glad i did because i found this incredible website dedicated to equality. equality. nice word...so nice in fact that the founding fathers of the United Sates of America made it a primary point of our Declaration of Independence.

" all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness—That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men.”

and some people are more equal than others...which is wrong.  black, white, gay, straight, catholic, muslim, jew, far left, far right and everything in between.

ALL ARE CREATED EQUAL.

so....care less....care less about what? how about we care more and give a damn.



believe

according to the dictionary believe means-to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so....

there are a lot of 'should believes' in my live. these came from parents and teachers and religious personnel.and over the past 30 years i have examined quite a few of those. i kept the ones that really resonated with my soul and discarded the ones that didn't.

i don't go to a church anymore. not because i do not believe in god but because i do not believe in the institution of god. god is more than a building and the bible and preachers. we were each created in the image and likeness of god so god must be a 49 year old woman. i am god and god is me. and i respect that and celebrate that everyday.

every year in my art classes someone will bring up Santa Claus. and the big question is do you believe. YES! i say. some of them look at me with a smirk that suggests i am an adult humoring a child. not so.

i DO believe in Santa. i believe in the essence of what he stands for. giving, kindness and generosity...why wouldn't i believe in that?

here are a few more things i believe in....you may or may not agree with me and that is OK~

i believe that there are no coincidences in this world. every person, all the events of my life, are there because i have drawn them there and it's up to me what to do with them.

i also believe that there is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. we seek problems because we need their gifts. which correlates to the earlier statement about coincidences. everyday i wake up in the morning is a gift.


i believe that the opposite of loneliness is intimacy- imagine not having a close personal relationship with another person. i'm not talking sex here. i am talking emotional intimacy.

i believe that reality is based on perspective and being respectful of another's perspective is a key element to peace.  (tolerance....)

i believe that love really is the answer. we have just forgotten what the question was.

what do you believe in? i mean really believe all the way down to your toes believe.