Monday, July 23, 2012

one day at a time

last night i was on top of the world with all these ideas and goals and today i don't want to be here and i don't want to do anything. is it the heat or is it depression creeping up on me? it's too hot to be depressed......

baby steps
break it down into manageable goals

yeah i know

i am leaving in twelve days for a vacation. driving to see my daughter and i'll be gone for 10 days. i should be excited - i am excited a little- i just can't get up the energy to get all the little things that need to get done before i day at a time

that's what i tell kelsey all the time. easy advice to give harder to take for yourself.

so today? i will follow my food program and i will do 30 minutes of exercise when i get home from work
beyond that i don't know

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

may 4th was the last time i posted. that's because since then i have not had anytime to myself and it's beginning to show. i pretty much haven't been home on a weekend since then. it's been pretty stressful to say the least.

not all stress is bad stress you know. some of it is good stress - like everything that has been happening has been good stuff. but after awhile stress is stress- good or bad- and it starts to pile up and wear you down.

so even though right now my life is totally awesome my depression is creeping in and grabbing me by the ankles.

good stress-
daughter graduating from college and moving home
son graduating from high school
acting in a play in a town 30 miles away over 3 consecutive weekends
directing a play here in town with a cast of 40 middle schoolers
teaching classes from 9:30 am - 4:00 monday - friday
purchasing a business
moving said business into your business
remodeling the studio to fit above business
finishing a 4 piece commission
sending youngest daughter to Ecuador for 3 weeks
(where there is spotty Internet and cell reception)
getting son ready to leave for college
(getting emotionally ready to send son to college)
oldest daughter turned 25


since may 4th my eczema has been out of control
i can't sleep
my appetite sucks
when i do eat it's junk
i am snapping at the people i love
i am crying- a lot
i am so tired i want to sleep for a hundred years but would settle for 20

august 3rd i am locking the door to the studio and driving out to new york to see my oldest daughter. i am looking forward to the down time. i am also worried about being closed for two weeks. but then i also realize that if i don't do something soon i'm going to break.