Monday, March 25, 2013

carry on

it's not the overcast sky
it's not the snow
it's not the cold
i don't know what it is but I can't seem to shake this feeling
this deep deep sadness that colors everything i do in shades of gray
i'm moving in slow motion -standing outside my self looking in
so very, very tired
deadlines , people counting on me to deliver
needing me- always needing me
what do i need?
i don't know

this is depression talking
i know the seductive sound of its voice
i know the comfort of its darkness
i know i have to stop this feeling

i know
carry on
keep going
i know

Thursday, March 21, 2013

for my son

let it go and move on
i love you

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


words have a lot of power
you can use them to create or destroy
words can give you comfort
make you think
make you cry

this last stay in the hospital for my daughter for her mental illness got me to thinking about words
she expressed a desire to read something each day and to reflect on it- maybe it would help keep her out of the darkness
she suggested the Bible- i don't have anything against the bible but it can be pretty thick and heavy with words and sometimes there are too many words

i went looking for some kind of book i could give her that wasn't all Hallmark card- you know?
i came up empty

maybe i should write my own book

i have been collecting quotes, words of wisdom, passages from books for years. i write them down in a notebook ( i am on my 4th notebook since i started)  now i have a board on Pinterest dedicated to them.

if you are reading this can you take a moment and write down words you use to help you get through a rough patch
words that make you think
get you back on track

here's one of my favorites:

"there is no such thing as a problem
without a gift for you in its hands.
You seek the problems 
because you need
their gifts"
Richard Bach 
holding hands