Friday, January 18, 2013

spiritual desert

something is missing from my life. the busier my life gets the farther away i seem to be getting from my spiritual center. i am not a sit in church once a week and listen to someone preach at me kind of person. i am more of a reflective person.
which can be a bad thing when you are depressed. reflect too much on the negatives in your life and you end up falling into the pit.
i need to learn to meditate.
really meditate
i am not sure i have enough self discipline to learn on my own
maybe i do- i haven't tried yet

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

change of habit

i joined a 30 day challenge that my daughter put together for the new year. she is part of Isagenix .
i have used their products before and the results are great and they are lasting results. but i can't seem to make it a habit
i thought being accountable to someone else would help me with my goals- i'm not in it for the money or the prizes i am in it for the habit

yep- i am a creature of habit- as humans we all are and anyone who has developed a habit knows how hard it is to break

for years i bit my nails and yet i would buy nail polish and try and make them look pretty because i think painted nails are kinda sexy and they make me feel good. i conquered that habit - not over night - but in time(years). now i have nails i am proud of and i get them done once a month and it makes me feel GOOD about myself.

feeling good about myself-

lately the voices in my head have been very negative and
so loud i can't hear anything else
 your art sucks
you're worthless
you don't do enough
you're fat
and ugly
and unlovable


i am taking baby steps on changing some habits - no more McDonald's drive thru before work monday - friday - if i feel like it on saturday it's ok
keeping a project threaded on the loom at all times - so far that habit has produced three beautiful scarves
replacing my afternoon cookie craving with some hot cinnamon/honey tea
wearing lipstick because you just can't feel ugly with a little lipstick on

be the change i wish to see