motivation

or lack thereof...

the list of things i should do because i KNOW i will benefit from them is long
really, really long

like changing what i eat
 that's a big one and I know if i change my eating habits i will lose some weight and if i lose some weight i will have more energy and if i have more energy i won't be tired all the time and if i'm not tired all the time i will be more productive and if i am more productive my list of things to do won't be out of control and if my list of things to do is under control then i will feel less guilty and if i feel less guilty i will feel better about myself and if i feel better about my self then i will change my eating habits....

it's a merry go round spinning out of control and i can't make myself jump on

doing good

angels are everywhere and i don't mean the figures in white gowns with wings. i mean real people. people you don't know or maybe you do.

several years ago i was broke. the mortgage was due on the house me and my four kids lived in and i had no idea where the money was going to come from.

divorced
4 kids
working three jobs
too rich for food stamps
too poor to buy food

pay the mortgage or feed the kids

tough choice isn't it? i hope anyone who reads this NEVER has to make a decision like that

i have a friend that has been a part of my life since fourth grade. we were such an odd couple. she only had one brother and i loved going to her house because she had HER OWN ROOM! i had SEVEN siblings and shared a room with two if them. we both had a huge crush on David Cassidy and would pool our allowance each week and ride our bikes to Pokey's for green rivers, french fries and the latest Tiger Beat Magazine. good times.

over the years we hardly see each other. but when we do it's like time has never passed. we pick up right where we left off. ups and downs. getting married. having babies. divorce. children. mental health. i can talk to her about pretty much anything. one day after a conversation with her about trying to figure out how i was going to pay the bank i got this note in the mail.

and a check for the amount due the bank.

i cried.
a lot.
i have kept her note posted on my bulletin board and i try to pay it forward as often as possible.
thank you mary beth