please return as soon as possible

too young

it's father's day again. it seems like it was just father's day but then i am getting old enough where the years seem to merge into each other. i haven't celebrated father's day since 1989. you see my dad died at age 56 in January of 1990. i was only 29 years old. too young. he died too young and i was too young to lose my dad.

my dad was 'kookie' (yes it's a real word)

Adj.

1.

kookie - informal or slang terms for mentally irregular

yep- that was my dad. crooked glasses, goofy grin and all.

he fathered 10 kids- 3 sons and 7 daughters. i am in the middle of the daughters. dad worked hard and put in a lot of hours to make sure there was food on the table and a roof over our heads. i remember the first time dad took all of us girls fishing at the lagoon. last thing mom said to us was "KEEP YOUR SHOES ON!"
 the shoes came off as soon as we got to the waters edge - we were like a herd of cats going off in 6 different directions. Melanie, Cecelia and i were more interested in the tadpoles and catching a frog than fishing, Susan, Jackie and Rosemarie actually put their bamboo poles in the water to fish. at about the same time two shouts went out- Melanie cut her foot and Rosemarie caught a fish.

 fishing trip over....

and then there was the time Melanie and i went golfing with dad- i am not much of a golfer- all i remember about that outing was dad telling me to keep my head down with some exasperation as i hit the 5th ball into the pond....

...and there were the family picnics and the long card rides to see grandma and grandpa after we moved away from Des Moines and trips to see our brother Timmy and moving me to college and the next thing i know he's walking me down the aisle and then he's holding my first born- a daughter and then he was gone....miss you dad. a lot.

coloring outside the lines? YES!

so, officially it's only the second day of summer. the weekend doesn't count. already i have a To-Do list that is pretty long. sometimes i think i should make a "To Don't" list because it would be easier and faster to check the items off.

coloring outside the lines is what i do. it's why i am here in this place at this time. i think we all need a little more outside the lines time in our lives.

can't sleep

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. ~William Dement


a friend sent me this quote. it's a good one and tonight because i once again find myself unable to sleep this quote hits home. i like sleeping. let me fine tune that- i like dreaming. some people can't remember their dreams. i do. and tonight i can't turn off my brain and i really want to sleep- perchance to dream....

when i was younger i used to tell myself stories after the lights went out so i could fall asleep. when you share a room with a sibling keeping a light on and reading all night is not an option.

have you ever had a dream that was so real that when you woke up you were not sure what was real and was the dream? those are the best ones. or the dreams where you are flying? soaring above the ground like a kite- diving and swooping? my favorite dream is the garden. i don't remember much about it but the garden is a comforting and safe place. and when i wake up from that dream i feel a sense of loss and i want to go back there.

all you need is LOVE?

love is patient
love is kind
love does not
 
                 boast
                                     envy
                                                  and is not proud
love is not rude
nor is it self seeking
 
love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs
 
love does not delight in evil but
                                        REJOICES with the truth
 
love always
protects
trusts
hopes

and perseveres             

laughing at the sky

perfectly imperfect -that's an oxymoron- you know two words put together that don't quite fit.

perfect  (per·fect)
–adjective
1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.

imperfect (im-per-fect)
-adjective
1. of pertaining to, or characterized by defects of weakness: imperfect vision

so i guess this means that one is being the absolute best at being human (?)

we have all heard "in a perfect world...."
there are perfect numbers
 Bo Derek was considered the perfect 10
you have the perfect couple and the perfect game and the perfect lawyer and the perfect crime and the perfect book and the perfect plan
and you can imagine how all that looks-

but to be imperfect means there is a flaw, a weakness - something less than desirable- it's that flaw that makes us human, makes us ask questions. why? to understand and influence our environment, to explain and manipulate phenomena through science, philosophy, mythology and religion-to make us better or in other words- perfect

in all that seeking and asking and wanting to know we forget to live in the moment and we miss so much

  

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky” Buddha

let's make a pact right now

ok. about what?

on the first really truly nice day in May let's all not show up for work and play outside all day.

we'll call it a mental health day.

it sounds like maybe we should have more of them.

i agree. maybe we can start something!